My Children Are Funny

I have to write down some of the stuff my kids say to me before I forget.

Jake doesn't enjoy going to bed. He has a few stalling routines up his sleeve. Every night, after he is all settled into bed, he tells us "something's missing." When we ask him what that might be he replies, in a little sing-song voice, "Juice!" (Don't worry, he doesn't drink juice at bedtime)

He pointed to my chin the other day and asked me what it was.

Me: That's my chin.

Jake: No, what's that?

Me: Dude, it's my chin

Jake: No, THAT! (still just pointing to my chin)

Me: Jake, it's my CHIN!

Jake: (now touching my chin) Your chin has a butt. There's a butt on your chin.

Me: (hand to forehead)

The cleft in my chin is now referred to as a butt, apparently.

Because Jake doesn't allow for time alone, he was in my room while I got dressed one day. He poked my behind and said, "Mom, your buns are big, they are really big. You have big buns!" It's a good thing he told me, I suppose, since my butt is behind me and therefore difficult to see. I may have never known the size of my butt before he explained it to me. He's so freaking thoughtful.

All the boys met me for my lunch break at work yesterday. While Jake was eating a nugget, he said, "I love my Mom and Dad."

I told him,"Awww, I love you too Jakie."

To which he replied, "I love you toosie too. I love you super too."

Almost makes up for the buns comment.

Hayden, before I went to work yesterday, explained to me why I shouldn't leave.

Hayden: Mom, it may be dangerous for you to go to work today.

Me: Why?

Hayden: There is a pressure plate under your parking space at work

and when you get out of your car, the building would explode.

Me: So, to save all the customers and employees,

I should stay home, is that it?

Hayden:Exactly. It's for their safety.